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| Map shows distance between Park View Kayak Launch and Indian Creek Island |
Jeff Bezos might live on Indian Creek Island, but he can paddle down poop creek anytime he wants. With a paddle.
The nastiest section of Biscayne Bay is not even two miles from his billionaire’s compound.
Park View Kayak Launch in Miami Beach was recently named the dirtiest water in the entire State of Florida, and that’s really saying something.
Imagine if you will, one of the world’s richest businessmen allowing the filth of all Miami’s excrement to greet his each and every morning.
Apparently, you don’t need to.
There’s no amount of fresh roast coffee, fragrant aerosol, or cinnamon potpourri that can overpower the smell of raw sewage. Not a nose plug or a clothespin or a can of axe body spray can stop it.
His backyard must smell worse than a heatwave at a trash dump on dirty diaper delivery day.
I’m sure he doesn’t like the stink. Who would? He’s even putting money into helping the environment. Bezos actively contributes plenty of big bucks around South Florida, including through his Earth Fund $400 Million, but it seems like nothing much to actually fix the issues affecting his own hood.
He's rich and smart and knows how to get things done. He probably could figure out the best way to save the ocean.
Biscayne Bay is not a toilet bowl. It should not be full of caca poo poo. And there shouldn’t be a veritable doodie solar system under a kayak launch, which sounds like a crude assessment, but sometimes people have to be spoken to like idiots in order to make them pay attention.
Rather than simply pay attention, Bezos should be paying dollars, intelligently, into a system where tracking and monitoring are secondary to pro-active solutions.
Get the dumb bacteria level meters outta the way, and start killing the bacteria.
Scientists have not even conclusively determined what the source of all the disgusting sludge in the area is. Even after $122,000 to a University scientist who won’t even explain what she’s doing to the public or the press.
It has been five years since that nasty sewer main on Miami Beach burst like a dookie filled piñata, and besides the boots on the ground workers who patched it, nobody has put their protected feet in the mess of the tides to fix it up so it doesn’t happen again.
If Bezos and his billionaire pals don’t start doing something right to fix Biscayne Bay, they’re never gonna need to pay for fertilizer for their lawns or golf course ever again. Everything they choose to ignore can easily wash up on their shore.
It's all satire. Im an environmental hypocrite like everyone else. But the irony is funny between the rich island and the dirty water under the kayak launch. Truth is the canals of Miami Beach been dirty for a long time for lots of reasons. And there is just as many ways to improve them with ingenuity, technology, and human energy. And money. To the right people who actually get the job done right
Whoever it is building skyscrapers in six months all over downtown. They know how to work big jobs right, with a paddle